Our anniversary was days away. Maybe it was something sweet he’d been saving! Something he was too shy to hand to me in person.
“Sean, you sneaky romantic,” I whispered, smiling.
Maybe it was something sweet.
I carried the drive to the living room table, where my laptop lay open. My fingers trembled with excitement as I switched on the laptop and curiously plugged in the USB drive.
A folder opened with four video files labeled: VIDEO 1, VIDEO 2, VIDEO 3, and VIDEO 4.
There were no titles or other explanations, just numbers.
I hesitated for half a second, then double-clicked the first one, expecting a sweet memory or a heartfelt message.
My fingers trembled.
The screen filled with a room I didn’t recognize.
It had pale walls, a plain lamp, and a window with the blinds half-drawn. Sean sat on the edge of a bed. He looked terrible.
His eyes were red, and his hands were shaking. My husband stared at the camera as if he were trying to work up the courage to speak.
“I don’t know how to tell her about you,” he said quietly.
My smile fell.
He looked terrible.
Sean rubbed his face and looked away.
“Rachel, I’ve tried a hundred times. I sit down at dinner, and the words just won’t come. My wife doesn’t deserve this. She deserves the truth.”
I didn’t know a Rachel. I’d never heard him say that name in four years.
My husband wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
“I’ll figure it out. I have to. Before it’s too late.”
The video ended.
I didn’t know a Rachel.
I sat completely still. My chest felt tight and hollow at the same time, as if something inside me had been scooped out.
Rachel.
A hundred ugly possibilities crowded into my head at once.
A woman.
An affair.
A whole hidden life.
All those late nights he’d said were work, the locked drawer, and the photo he’d shoved out of sight when I walked in last winter.
I sat completely still.
My hands were shaking so badly that I could barely move the mouse to VIDEO 2. I couldn’t believe what I’d just watched!
I hovered over the second clip. I couldn’t press play. I just couldn’t. Whatever was in there, I wasn’t sure I was ready to see it.
I sat there for what felt like an hour, staring at that little thumbnail.
Then I heard it.
The soft click of the front door. Keys dropped into the bowl on the entry table. Familiar footsteps.
Sean was home early!
I couldn’t press play.
I lunged for the laptop lid, but my fingers fumbled, and before I could close it, he appeared in the living room doorway.
My husband’s eyes went straight to my hand.
To the USB drive still clutched in my fingers.
The color drained from his face so fast that I thought he might faint. His briefcase slipped from his grip and hit the floor with a dull thud.
I was left shaken to the core.
I lunged for the laptop lid.
“Sean,” I said, and my voice cracked. “Who is Rachel?”
My husband didn’t answer.
He didn’t get angry, lie, or even move at first.
Then his knees gave out, and he sank onto the kitchen tile, staring at the drive as if it were something alive.
“You weren’t supposed to find that yet,” he whispered.
Then his knees gave out.
“Who is she?” I heard myself say, my voice sharp and unfamiliar.
Sean stayed on his knees near the doorway. His shoulders shook, but he didn’t look up.
“Please sit down,” he whispered. “Let me tell you properly. From the beginning.”
“From the beginning?” I laughed, and it came out ugly. “Four years, Sean. Four years of me thinking we told each other everything.”
“We did. We do. Just please sit down.”
“Who is she?”
I looked at the USB drive clutched in my fist. My wedding ring caught the lamplight, and I couldn’t stand looking at it.
“How long has this been going on?”
“It isn’t what you think.”
“Then tell me what it is!”
Sean tried. He opened his mouth twice, and each time his voice cracked before a full sentence could form.
“It isn’t what you think.”
“I made them for you,” my husband finally managed. “In case I couldn’t say it out loud. I was going to hand them to you next month, after the anniversary. I just couldn’t do it yet.”
I couldn’t stay in that room.
“I’m going to Megan’s,” I told him. “Don’t call me. Don’t follow me.”
“Please watch the other videos before you decide anything.”
“I’ve seen enough!”
“I just couldn’t do it yet.”
I grabbed a bag from the closet and threw in whatever my hands touched. Sean didn’t try to stop me. He just kept sitting on the floor, staring at the carpet as if it were the only thing holding him up.
